"That commitment..."

"That commitment may grow slowly, sprouting from the rich compost of experience accumulated deep within us."

I was just reading over some old blogs. It was good to read what I felt was important to share. And then I found this. When I shared it, I focused on the second part..."the rich compost of experience" but this time, I read these words and was struck by something entirely different. "That Commitment may grow slowly..."

It is commitment which comes from that rich compost of experience. Commitment. This struck me. This year I have been unable to commit to anything. I want to farm. I want to be in community. I want to have direction, but can't seem to take a leap. I left a farm with rich, rich experience and have landed in Baltimore. This good, good city which may not be where I belong.

"Committment may grow slowly"...well I always seem to master the slowly part. I think it may be why I like growing food, it is slow. The seeds take their time, they really do not like being rushed. but it is time. A new growing season will be upon us. We are in advent a time for hope.

I've given notice on my apartment. I need to be out by February 1rst. I do not yet know exactly where I am going, but I am leaving this transitional space, i need to say yes to something. So I am choosing. I say yes to farming, yes to bees, yes to rural life. I mourn that i will loose the friendships this city provides easy access to. I mourn that rural life makes community harder, but I must say yes to farming.

So may this "commitment grow slowly, sprouting from the rich compost of experience accumulated deep within me."